I was told by him never to talk about our relationship, not in public anyway. He didn't want people to know what he did to me. "I don't want you writing about me." That's what he said right before he fucked me. Yeah that's all it was a fuck. Over the past eight years that I knew him, Randon would come to completely encompass my life. He claimed he didn't want that, but I know that he secretly enjoyed it. I would lose what little of me there was to him. I wasn't that strong. I wanted to be strong and I had made myself believe that if I got a good guy, a guy with a good “resume” I would be fine I would have arrived…that didn’t happen. This isn’t a sob story about how I was done wrong by a guy. I want this to be a reflective learning experience for me and for anyone who has ever been through this type of relationship. It’s so easy to blame the other person when you are just as much to blame as they are. I know that now. I know that I was equally responsible for the way he treated me. Randon and I were two good people who became drugs to each other. We became a toxic bond and that is never good. I don’t believe in my heart that Randon is a bad person; he just did really horrible things to me and to other people. I know many people will read this and say just get over it. Well, this is my way of GETTING over it. Hopefully, it can help people to look at themselves and see when they are in a “bad romance.”
Until we meet again,
Kerry
