DISCLAIMER:

This blog is not a sob story about how I was fucked over or dumped. It will not be a bash fest on a particular person. This will be an honest, accurate (or at least try to be accurate) portrayal about two good people that formed a toxic bond with each other. No one is to blame and each person's behavior was wrong.

This is a story about me, Kerry, who met a boy, Randon. This is how I became a co-dependent, insane, other person. This is how he became an abusive, cold, son of a bitch. I don't think that he is a bad person. Deep in my heart I know that Randon is a good person that was put in an incredibly difficult situation by me. I don't condone his actions towards me, but I now know why he did it. I hope that this will be a healing point in my life. I hope for Randon, if he ever reads this, can be a healing point for him too.



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Best Revenge

Random Thought.

I wish I could say that I'm the one that saw that things between Randon and me were not working out, but atlas, it wasn't me. It was him. I really wanted to be the one to let go, but I guess I wasn't strong enough. I'm glad he did though. I'm glad he let go. It's been a year since I have seen or contacted him which by my estimation, counting all of the other "no contact orders" we have given each other is pretty impressive. This last time is different than the other times. This time it's final. I know that he won't contact me again and I'm sure I won't do the same. I know now that we aren't good for each other and we both deserve to be happy.

Now on to the post

I have had a lot of people ask me if I ever wanted to get back at Randon for all the things he did to me (all deeds shall be revealed in future posts). They are asking me this now and not years ago where the answers would have been drastically different. I have never been the one to exact revenge on someone by Maury Povich means like keying a car, or hacking in to emails, voicemails and the like. I have never been into trying to humiliate someone for the sole purpose of making myself feel better. For one, it never works you never feel better you feel like outdoing the shit you did. Another reason, I don't go to jail or get sued for anybody (I may have momentarily lost my mind when I was around Randon but not completely). I do understand why people do things like that though. I've dreamt about doing some of that to him myself. You have devoted time, energy and part of your heart to someone only for them to treat you like shit. You want them to feel like shit. I get it darlings I truly do.

I have another path for you to follow:

Sometimes the best revenge is to live well. I don't mean put yourself in debt trying to buy all the latest goodies because you feel bad because some boy doesn't like you. I mean LIVE. Get out and enjoy life. Start to do something you have always wanted to do or something you enjoy doing before Mr. Unfortunate walked into your life that you dropped because he walked in. This Randon thing has been a back and forth reaction since 2001. This is the first time that I started to do things I wanted to get back into like dancing and going out with people that like me, and meeting new people that like me. Yes I know what I just proposed does not involve humiliating mr. unfortunate, but guess what, it doesn't involve a rap sheet either. It also doesn't involve what most conventional revenge tactics is almost always tend to do: humiliate yourself. Sometimes the best revenge is walking down the street enjoying a laugh and running into mr. unfortunate while your doing it.

xoxo Lil darlings

KC
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